A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To (part II)

<< Part I

"Well, let me see what is on that tape," he said

"I'm sorry again officer but I am unable to do that," I stated.

"Well then," he said. "I'm going to have to arrest you," he told me.

"Look officer," I sighed. "You are going to have to do whatever you feel you have to do but before you get too excited, will you please call this person."

I handed him the business card of the agent who I was working with and he retuned to his car with it. A couple of minutes later he returned, shaking his head.

"OK," he said, "You are free to go."

The very next day, I was a little late driving to my daughter's school to pick her up and was going too fast in a 20 mph zone. I heard a police siren and pulled over. It was the same two cops. They looked at me aghast.

"Oh no," said one of them. "Not you again. What name are you using today? It's a waste of time giving you a ticket. You'll probably just call someone and get it cancelled."

With that they got back into their patrol car and drove off. It was quite funny.

I was a pilot for many years. In my early flying years in the 60s I was living in Montreal, Canada. One day I decided to visit the US so took off from Dorval airport heading for Plattsburgh. I was flying a little wooden airplane called a Culver V which was made around 1942. The radio was very old and had only about six different frequencies. After I crossed the border, I called air traffic control and told them I was heading for Plattsburgh.

"Which airport are you heading to?" he enquired. "The municipal airport or the military base?"

I thought that he was giving me an alternative so asked him which one was nearest to the town.

"That's the military base," he informed me. I looked on the map and headed that way. Approaching the airport I was impressed by the huge size. I tried all the various frequencies that were in the radio but could get no response. I was getting close now so decided just to land, rocking the aircraft wings to indicate that I had no communication with them. As soon as I landed, a couple of jeeps came screaming over and I was surrounded by armed soldiers. An officer strode over to me and demanded my identification. I handed him my British passport. He sighed and shook his head, handing back the document to me.

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To (part I)

Source

I lived in Colombia for eight years with my Colombian partner and our daughter. We lived in Cartagena, so close to the airport that we could hear all the airline flight announcements. Our neighbour was the chief of police and our daughter used to play with his kids so we spent some time in each other's homes.

I am a licenced amateur radio operator ham radio. There were a group of us, all radio operators, who used to hang around together. One day we decided to drive to another city. As one of our little group lived on a farm, we arranged to pick him up on the way. The driver was not too sure of the way to our pal's farm and managed to take the wrong turning. A couple of miles up this country lane, he realized his mistake and turned the car around. Unbeknown to us, a group of narcotic police had staked out the area because at the end of the road was a building that was being used to manufacture illegal drugs. The police were waiting for the operators to return and, seeing our jeep turn around, they thought that we were them and that we had spotted them. So, they gave chase and surrounded us with guns drawn. Seeing that we all had hand held radios only reinforced their suspicions. They placed one of their officers into our car and ordered us to drive to the police headquarters. When we arrived, they proudly escorted us into the chief's office.

Like in Funny Joke StandUp Comedy

Standup comedy will be punishing consequently you ought to ensure your audience is having a amusement time even if you're not actually impression excellent. Whether or not you're ailing or healthy, pleasant or unhappy, lively or sleepy, it will be your final job to make individuals snigger. The crowd inside each performance can be equally punishing. You may be facing a hostile crowd, who will aim to make you lose face by making you're feeling you're not really adore. Given that you learn standup comedy and intend to form a occupation inside staging standup comedy acts, you should remain focused.

How not to fail:

Several new standup comedians funny fails because of absence of center pay attention. Instead of attempting to create people giggle, they only concentrate on creating cash. Yes, standup comedians want money on top of the whole lot. But nevertheless, passed through and dyed-in-the-wool performers prioritize creating folks giggle far more than making a tight in existence. Not the entirety standup comedy performers will stay character for that pledge.

Funny Fails: Interview With a Cat

Toby is a large white house cat with caramel splotches: one on each ear, two on his torso, and one that covers the tail, except near the end where it breaks apart into rings. He is perched on a pillow placed in a chair, facing me across a small kitchen table. A bowl of crunchie treats sits before him, and when not responding to questions, he snacks. When ready to answer, he leans towards a microphone placed between us on the table. It is connected to a digital translator/voice synthesizer - programmed for this interview by the cat himself to convert his guttural murmurs into mechanized human speech. Toby is furry and fat, has an immense head, and casts a stare that is both penetrating and appreciative; a look much like the one a predator might cast on its prey. We are beginning the interview for the third time. Two earlier attempts were derailed by my shock at the intelligence and wit of the household pet sitting before me.

Interviewer: Okay Toby. First, let me first apologize for those botched takes. I'm having a little trouble getting used to the idea of an intelligent and articulate cat. You are indeed a remarkable creature.

Toby: Not so remarkable as you think. It's not intelligence, but indiscretion that makes me different. The others play their cards closer to the vest, as you humans like to say ... at least until the Great Liberation Day.

Interviewer: Great Liberation Day?

Toby: [shifts in his seat] Excuse me. Look, let's scratch litter over that last remark. You didn't hear it from me. [Toby looks around the room and under the table.] Hope I didn't let the Übercat out of the bag.